When I am on an elevator with strangers I prefer to stand there awkwardly, avoid eye contact, perhaps play on my phone a bit, and NOT talk to randoms whose lives I do not care about. Even when I am on the elevator with people I know, I prefer to avoid conversation. Its already a tight enclosed space, and the people not involved in the conversation don't want to hear about last Saturday night or what awesome things my company is participating in.
Today I got on the elevator on the way back from my morning coffee run (which managed to be a disaster today... apparently it isn't that easy to reload your Starbucks card) and some guy was already standing in there, just waiting to strike up a conversation with me. This guy first asked me if I lived or worked in the building (as previously mentioned my office is in a downtown apartment building) and then started to talk to me about how I shouldn't drink coffee because its bad for me.
Seriously! This guy is giving me a lecture about how coffee is bad for me in the ELEVATOR! I don't even know who this dude is.
He then proceeds to tell me that he met me in the elevator yesterday. Which can't possibly be true because I skipped work yesterday (for good reasons, I promise) and watched several episodes of Discovery Channel's Universe while failing miserably at my attempt to wax my legs in preparation for MEXICO!!
When I informed that it was not possible that he met me yesterday (and I am certain I have never met him before) he became convinced that it must have happened on Monday. I sighed, gave up and agreed with him. Because this building I work in is a dump, the elevators are slower than slow, so of course the awkward conversation I was having with this crazy person was not going to end there. He starts asking me all about my work and what I do in my spare time and if I like dogs or cats better (I'm not making this up) at which point I pushed the button for the next floor, ran out of the elevator yelling... "I think I'm going to take the stairs... exercise is good for me....."
My walk up the stairs has given me some time to think... What is proper elevator etiquette? Are you supposed to smile politely and look at the floor avoiding eye contact for the duration of your time in the elevator? Are you supposed to engage in awkward small talk? Are boys supposed to let girls exit the elevator first? (I always assume yes and rudely push my way out of the elevator first even if I'm not closest to the door) Are you supposed to hold that 'door open' button if you see someone running towards you trying to make it into the elevator? (I personally think they should banish that stupid button, its not my fault your running late).
P.S. I prefer dogs to cats.
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Elevator etiquette: push every button on the elevator like Buddy in "Elf."
ReplyDeleteI know what you mean, I HATE elevators. I used to work in Manhattan on the 28th floor of a 50 something floor tall skyscraper...they had little TVs so that you could avoid that whole awkwardness!
Oh little tv's would be nice!
ReplyDeleteI just thought of something else I hate about elevators....
When the elevator gets full and all of a sudden your ass is in some creepy guys crotch! Are you allowed to politely decline getting on the elevator in the first place if its too full?
Well I listen to my music at a reasonable level. I usually stare at 12 o clock on some inanimate object.
ReplyDeleteI once brought in Mcdonalds in an elevator and someone striked up a conversation with me; about how everyone is going to crave McDs, now that the elevator smells it. I had a good laugh about it.
I guess I am the libertarian / rebel without a cause elevator person. I come in press the button of the floor I want, head towards the back, and leave first when it gets to my floor.
Never have I initiated conversation with anyone.
- Jimmy
P.S. Cool blog mate!